Be Afraid of the Dark
by lindzlucy
Summary: The fearless Dragonborn unintentionally joins a group of assassins that quickly becomes her new Family. Dysfunctional and crazy, her new Family has some issues that need to be resolved in order to move forward. Starting with the Dragonborn's attraction to the married woman. [Fem!Dragonborn. Rated M like the game. First fic. Follows the DB questline closely.]
1. A Debt to Be Paid

**A DEBT TO BE PAID**

I could honestly say that I was not scared of anything. My "Welcome" into Skyrim was being captured at the border and taken to be executed, only to be on the block when a dragon decides to attack the town. Since then, I have felt that I was alive for a reason; I was never scared, but always cautious. But now, as I hold the small parchment in my glove, I could feel the grip of fear seeking refuge in my mind. This parchment that says "We Know" in black with the mark of the Dark Brotherhood. That hand print and those words has stricken fear into me that I haven't known since the dragon attack.

I wouldn't let it get to me, I decided. How could they have possibly known it was me? None of the children saw me kill Grelod the Kind. Constance was too busy running to see who it was that she was running from. But just to check, I quickly interrupt the courier and asked who it was from. He didn't give a name, but it didn't sound like someone I should worry about. I have handled many thugs, bandits, and hirelings that were sent after me. How different could an assassin be? Finally calming myself, I head back to Breezehome in Whiterun with my housecarl, Lydia, in tow, hoping to get a good night's rest.

I awake with a sharp pain in my back and an increasingly painful headache. As my eyes came into focus, I start to realize that I'm not in my room in Breezehome. I'm on the damp floor of a small cabin. There's blood splattered and smeared on every surface that I can see. A voice tears my attention to a figure atop of the nearby bookshelf.

"Sleep well?" A woman, dressed in red and black dressings, peers down at me through her masked cowl.

My eyes focus enough that I can see her. "Where am I? Who are you?"

"Does it matter? You're warm, dry… and still very much alive. That's more than can be said for old Grelod. Hmm?"

"You know about that?" The note said "we know" but I was hoping that the "we" didn't know about Grelod, or at least the "we" wasn't the Dark Brotherhood. I was wrong.

"Half of Skyrim knows. Old hag gets butchered in her own orphanage? Things like that tend to get around." The candle light reflects in her eyes in a way that I know she is smiling.

Fuck. I'm hit with a little guilt as I realize that the people of Skyrim think I murdered the kind caretaker of orphans. But I push away the guilt, knowing that I did what I think was right by those children.

"Oh, but don't misunderstand," she continues, "I'm not criticizing. It was a good kill. Old crone had it coming. And you saved a group of urchins, to boot. Ah, but there is a slight… problem."

I go against my initial gut reaction to stay quiet, "Problem?"

"You see, that little Aretino boy was looking for the Dark Brotherhood. For me, and my associates. Grelod the Kind was, by all rights, a Dark Brotherhood contract. A kill… that you stole. A kill you must repay."

I wasn't going to pay with my own blood. If so, I wouldn't be alive right now. She could have easily killed me in my sleep, or sent someone to do it for her. I know the face, or cowl-covered face, of the enemy now, the mystery has dissipated taking the fear I once held with it. I need a plan or some sort of tactic, a way to escape. This woman, however alluring her voice sounds, is currently standing between me and my freedom. At this point, I had two options. To do as she says, or to make enemies of the Dark Brotherhood. The latter doesn't seem like the wiser decision. "You want me to murder someone else? Who?"

"Well now. Funny you should ask. If you turn around, you'll notice my guests. I've "collected" them from… well, that's not really important. The here and now. That's what matters. You see, there's a contract out on one of them, and that person can't leave this room alive. But… which one? Go on, see if you can figure it out. Make your choice. Make your kill. I just want to observe… and admire."

She is enjoying this a little too much for my tastes. But even I cannot back away from a challenge. One of the "guests" has done something to get a contract out on his or her life. I would let my intuition take me. "All right. I'll do it. I'll kill one of them," I say less than cheerfully.

"See, I knew we could resolve this civilly. A debt owed must be repaid. You understand that. Well, get to it then. Pick your guest, and send the poor fool to the Void. I'll give you the key to this shack, and you'll be on your way."

An escape plan. A life for a life. A debt repaid and I'd be freed. I am convinced that the woman would not leave her perch on top of the shelves enough to turn my back to her. There are three people with their faces covered by hoods, two men and one woman. I take turns questioning each. The first man in scaled armor is nothing but a cowardly soldier. Surely he wouldn't have the Dark Brotherhood after him, rather a group of hired thugs. The woman, though fiery and disrespectful, is a devoted mother. The silver-tongued Khajiit struck a nerve. Any of the captives could potentially have a contract out on them, and even if it wasn't the Khajiit, I would not lose a single night's sleep over killing him. So I did.

"The conniving Khajiit. Cat like that was sure to have enemies. It's no wonder you chose him," she says as I approach.

"So who was it? Who had the contract?" Curiosity got the better of me in a situation that deserved silence.

"Oh. No, no, no. Don't you understand? Guilt, innocence, right, wrong… Irrelevant. What matters is I ordered you to kill someone, and you obeyed."

I feel a little sick, but I played her game. I spilt the blood, the debt repaid. "So… I'm free to go?"

"Of course. And you've repaid your debt, in full. Here's the key to the shack." She tosses the key down to me, "But why stop here? I say we take our relationship to the next level."

I'm concerned at what she means by that, but I'm all but convinced that she doesn't mean it the way I was perhaps hoping.

"I would like to officially extend to you an invitation to join my Family. The Dark Brotherhood."

It was an initiation process, I realize. She was testing me to see if my will would bend beneath her influence, if I would kill because she told me to. And I did.

"In the southwest reaches of Skyrim, in the Pine Forest, you'll find the entrance to our Sanctuary. It's just beneath the road, hidden from view. When questioned by the Black Door, answer with the correct passphrase: "Silence, my brother." Then you're in. And your new life begins. I'll see you at home." She says it so matter-of-factly. She can't know for sure that I would show up there.

But of course she knew I was going to take her invitation. Though I tried hard to turn around when I finally found the Black Door. But the saying "curiosity killed the cat" was certainly true for the Khajiit I killed.

"What is the music of life?" The Black Door whispers ominously.

Though I'm anxious and rather tongue-tied, I repeat the passphrase that she had told me to say, "Silence, my brother."

"Welcome home." It opens and I take a deep breath before proceeding. A new life.

I stride down the stairs with as much confidence as I can muster. I find her at the top of the next set. She has taken down her cowl and I can see the rest of the face that I have dreams, or maybe nightmares, about. She seems delighted to see me.

"Ah, at last! I hope you found the place all right."

I nod lightly and find myself hiding a smile. "So what happens now?"

"Well, what happens now is you start your new life in the Dark Brotherhood. You're part of the Family, after all. This, as you can see, is our Sanctuary. You won't find a safe place in all of Skyrim. So get comfortable."

Since I'm here, and very much at her beck and call, I might as well be polite. "I am honored to be a part of your Family, Astrid."

"Our Family, my dearest," she corrects me, "Our Family. Together, united as one, the Dark Brotherhood can accomplish anything. But you must be anxious to get to work. I'm arranging a job, but need a bit more time. For now, go see Nazir. He's got several smaller contracts. Soon, the Night Mother will arrive. And things around here are sure to get even more interesting. Ah, but one last thing. A welcome home present. The armor of the Dark Brotherhood. May it serve you well in your… endeavors."

I go into the other room to change into my new outfit and meet the rest of my dear Family. I fulfill many contracts in the name of the Night Mother, but I am still surprised when the Night Mother finally arrives.


	2. A Job to Be Done

**A JOB TO BE DONE**

"But the Night Mother is mother to all! It is her voice we follow! Her will! Would you dark risk disobedience? And surely… punishment?" A giggling fool has arrived at the Sanctuary with a giant wooden crate.

"Keep talking, little man, and we'll see who gets "punished,"" Arnbjorn snarls, the wolf inside him appearing just behind his eyes.

"Oh, be quiet you great lumbering lapdog," Festus is always the one to keep Arnbjorn on a short leash, even though Astrid should really keep a closer eye her wolf. "The man has had a long journey. You can at least be civil. Mister Cicero, I for one am delighted you and the Night Mother have arrived. Your presence here signals a welcome return to tradition." The old man is also always the first to kiss another's ass, except for mine; he's just wanted to kick my ass since the first time he met me.

"Oh, what a kind and wise wizard you are. Sure to earn our Lady's favor," Cicero hums and dances.

"You and the Night Mother are of course welcome here, Cicero. And you will be afforded the respect deserving of your position as Keeper. Understood… husband?" Astrid cracks the whip.

A throaty "hmph" is Arnbjorn's only response.

Cicero has a very annoying voice, I determine as he speaks again, "Oh, yes, yes, yes! Thank you, thank you, thank you!" His dancing could get on my nerves, too.

"But make no mistake," Astrid warns him, as she had warned all of us before, "I am the leader of this Sanctuary. My word is law. Are we clear on that point?"

"Oh yes, mistress. Perfectly! You're the boss."

Mistress? I think as the crowd disperses. The Mistress and the Mother… this should get interesting…

Astrid approaches me now, as if observing my presence for the first time, "Ah, there you are. Good, I was done speaking with that muttering fool anyway. We've got some business to discuss."

"Do you have a contract for me?"

"I do indeed. You must go to the city of Markarth, and speak with the apothecary's assistant. You'll probably find her in The Hag's Cure, when the shop is open. The girl's been running her mouth, wants an ex-lover killed. She's apparently performed the Black Sacrament. Her name is Muiri. I need you to talk to her, set up the contract, and carry it out."

I understood as much, but I wanted to question why she would have me do it. Was it another test? "Anything else?"

She smiles evilly, "Just do whatever the contact wishes. Be professional, represent us well, and get the job done. Since it's your first contract, I'll let you keep whatever Muiri pays. She'll be generous, I'm sure. They always are."

Definitely a test, I think as I walk away, a test to prove myself to the Brotherhood, and to possibly test my interpersonal skills. My time as an apprentice at the College of Winterhold has taught me a lot about interpersonal skills.

I pass by the muttering fool on my way out. "Oh yes, mistress. You're the "boss." For now." He sees my face and calls out to me, "Wait, oh wait. I know you! Yes, yes. From the road! Cicero never forgets a face."

I suddenly remember where I have heard his annoying voice before, "You're the man with the wagon! Transporting his mother…" That's perfect as if I didn't think he was strange to begin with.

"I am! I am! But not just my mother. Our mother, hmm? The Night Mother! Oh yes!" He is obviously delighted to be remembered, "And you helped me! You helped poor Cicero! You talked to Loreius, got him to fix my wheel! Oh, you may have pleased me, but you have surely pleased the Night Mother. And our mother, she will never forget."

I'm suddenly very grateful for my good nature, for I wish not to think about what would have happened if I hadn't had helped Cicero… Loreius might have wound up dead, the farm in flames, dear Mother only knows what else. Cicero brought our Lady, the Unholy Matron and woman who birthed and murdered the children of Sithis, to the only functioning Sanctuary left in Skyrim from her crypt in Bravil, the Imperial Province, which had been desecrated. Apparently, as Keeper of the Night Mother, Cicero takes care of the old girl; oils her, preserves her, keeps her safe and respected. I'm glad to not have his job.

I decided to check-in with Astrid before leaving for Markarth. I wanted to touch-base with her about Cicero… and the Night Mother. She is obviously weary of the Keeper's presence. She is leaning over the map on the table of the entryway. Before making my own presence known, I watch silently for a moment. I watch as she shifts from foot-to-foot. I watch as she lightly taps her fingers on the parchment. I know instantly that she is not worried about the job.

The second I take another step, she twitches her head in my direction, indicating she is aware of my company. I walk up behind her, almost close enough to brush up against her but I don't, and turn to sit on the edge of the table. She moves nothing but her head so that she can look me in the eye. She waits for me to ask the question that she can almost see on the tip on my tongue.

"How much is going to change now?"

"Very little. You have my word on that." A promise to me, or to herself? "The Night Mother represents a chapter in the Dark Brotherhood's history that has long since been closed. Today we live by our own rules. We're the last Sanctuary in all of Tamriel, and only by forgoing the old ways have we survived for so long. My only worry is her "Keeper." I'm not sure what Cicero expects to gain by bringing the Night Mother here, but he'll soon learn this is my Sanctuary."

I nod, internally conflicted. She's right, of course, that times have changed. But the Night Mother and Sithis are eternal. The least we could give them is our respect. I don't think Cicero and Mother could possibly do us any harm. Cicero is mad, surely, but even a fool knows better than to move against an entire Sanctuary. We all have each other's backs. We're Family, after all. I rest a hand on the top of hers and give her a reassuring smile before taking my leave.

I travelled to The Hag's Cure in Markarth with appropriate haste. Muiri earned my sympathy and my service. I carried out both of the Muiri Contract's wishes with precision and professionalism. Alain Dufont, along with his hoard of bandits, was dead. As for Nilsine Shatter-Shield… The Lotus Extract proved very potent. Muiri definitely made it worth my while.

My arrival at the Sanctuary did not go unnoticed. Astrid immediately asked how my first real contract went. "A bit more exciting than what Nazir's been offering, I'd wager."

She wagered correctly, but I wasn't at liberty to discuss my client's contract with her. It hadn't called for my discretion, but it was my contract after all. My client. I had wanted Astrid to be jealous. Or proud. I couldn't tell which.

She continued through my silence, "Now, I need your assistance with a matter of a more… personal nature."

I wasn't sure what it was about her sentence that made my heart skip a beat. Her tone perhaps? "Is something wrong?"

"It's Cicero. Ever since he arrived, his behavior's been… Well, erratic would be an understatement. I do believe he is truly mad." I concur. "But it's worse than that. He's taken to locking himself in the Night Mother's chamber, and talking. To someone. In hushed, but frantic tones. Who is he speaking with? What are they planning? I fear treachery."

Unacceptable! In our business, few things are worse than treachery. But perhaps she was being a bit… paranoid. I'm suddenly conflicted, but I will always do as Astrid commands.

Astrid continues in my silence, "You must understand. If Cicero is turning the others against me… against us… Our Family would not survive such division."

I do understand and ask, "What do you want me to do?"

She releases a toothy grin, one that knows, as she answers me, "Dear sister, I need you to steal into that chamber, and eavesdrop on their meeting. It'll be no use clinging to the shadows. They'll see you for sure. No, you need a hiding place. Somewhere they'd never think to look."

I'm suddenly afraid of the hiding place I know she is going to suggest.

"Like inside the Night Mother's coffin."

It truly is a perfect hiding place, after all who would look inside a coffin for a spy? But it seems too… disrespectful to share the space with the dead, particularly the Unholy Matron. I am once again conflicted, but I will always obey the Mistress.

"No objections, then? Good. Go now. Before they meet. And report back to me with whatever you learn."

Mother forgive me.


	3. Tenet 1 Broken

**TENET 1 BROKEN**

 _Tenet 1: Never dishonor the Night Mother._

I lockpick the door of Mother's coffin open and am repulsed by the sight. Astrid wants me to get inside this coffin… with that? I force myself to take a deep breath before I step inside and close the doors. I am a mighty Dark Brotherhood assassin. I can handle such closeness with a dead body. I should be honored to share in the same space as Mother. It feels like an eternity before I heard the door open and Cicero's dancing little steps approach the coffin.

"Are we alone?" My breath hitches in my throat, fearing that I have been discovered already, but I release it slowly when Cicero continues, "Yes… yes… alone. Sweet solitude. No one will hear us, disturb us. Everything is going according to plan."

Plan? Maybe Astrid wasn't simply being paranoid.

"The others… I've spoken to them. And they're coming around, I know it. The wizard, Festus Krex… perhaps even the Argonian, and the un-child…"

Festus? Veezara? Babette? Honestly, I probably should have pegged Festus as a spy. But who was Cicero talking to? Surely not Arnbjorn, he would kill anyone for conspiring against his wife. That was one of the few things I liked about the man: his protectiveness over the Family… It couldn't be Gabriella could it?

"What about you?" Cicero continued, "Have you… have you spoken to anyone? No… No, of course not. I do the talking, the stalking, the seeing and saying! And what do you do? Nothing! Not… not that I'm angry! No, never! Cicero understands."

He chuckles and I slightly feel bad for the loon. Not bad enough, though, just a flicker of emotion that died out quickly in the darkness of the coffin.

"Cicero always understands!" He takes a deep breath before adding, "And obeys" in a pitiful tone. "You will talk when you're ready, won't you? Won't you… sweet Night Mother."

He is talking to Mother. Of course he is. What a lunatic. He is certainly mad, no doubt about it.

I nearly jump out of my skin, or at least out of the coffin, when I hear a raspy whisper in my ears. "Poor Cicero. Dear Cicero. Such a humble servant. But he will never hear my voice. For he is not the Listener."

I am terrified as the Night Mother's body gives off an iridescent glow with each word, lighting the darkness of the coffin. My knees brush up against hers as I cringe and muffle squeals. I am a mighty Dark Brotherhood assassin. I survived a dragon attack. I should have no fear. It goes dark once more, and never had I been more grateful for darkness.

Cicero continued his truly odd, one-way conversation with Mother, seemingly unaware that the woman had spoken whilst I heard the words clearly. "Oh, but how can I defend you? How can I exert your will? If you will not speak? To anyone!"

"Oh, but I will speak. I will speak to you. For you are the one. Yes, you. You, who shares my iron tomb, who warms my ancient bones. I give you this task – journey to Volunruud. Speak with Amound Motierre."

If it wasn't her words or the glowing of her body or the uncomfortable touching of our knees, it was certainly the ringing in my ears made it clear that she was talking to me. Necrophilia is not my cup of tea; I try not to think about whether it is Cicero's or not. I'm not sure if my stomach would handle it. I think of Astrid, instead, of her paranoia and how she might react to finding out I am the Listener.

"Poor Cicero has failed you. Poor Cicero is sorry, sweet mother. I've tried, so very hard. But I just can't find the Listener."

The Night Mother's body begins to glow again, and I instantly miss the darkness. "Tell Cicero the time has come. Tell him the words he has been waiting for, all the years: "Darkness rises when silence dies.""

I am caught off-guard when the iron doors to the coffin suddenly fly open and I stumble backwards. I am ever so grateful to be out of the tomb, but I do not have time to revel in the freedom before Cicero starts yelling.

"What? What treachery! Defile! Debaser and defiler! You have violated the sanctity of the Night Mother's coffin! Explain yourself!"

This does look bad… In his jester shoes, I would be equally as angry. There is no good explanation for this. And I am certainly not going to betray Astrid to the fool. I need to save both of our skins here.

"Speak, worm!" Cicero isn't just angry… he is boiling, bubbling, threatening to spill over.

"The Night Mother spoke to me! She said I am the one," I make a conscious attempt to speak calmly and evenly. There is no need for a screaming match in the Sanctuary.

"She… spoke to you?" He seems to consider it for the slightest of moments. "More treachery! More trickery and deceit! You lie! The Night Mother speaks only to the Listener! And there is… no… Listener!"

Boy is he in for a surprise. Oh Mother, protect your Listener from your Keeper's wrath. "Wait! She said to tell you, "Darkness rises when silence dies."" It's eerie, and I can't grasp quite what it means, but it seems to do the trick.

"She… she said that? She said those words… to you? "Darkness rises when silence dies"? But those are the words. The Binding Words. Written in the Keeping Tomes. The signal so I would know. Mother's only way of talking to sweet Cicero... Then… it is true! She is back! Our Lady is back! She has chosen a Listener! She has chosen you!" He is laughing maniacally between his words, the crazy jest, "All hail the Listener!"

Astrid comes bursting in now, probably expecting the worse after all the screaming Cicero has done. My heart leaps inexplicably at the thought that Astrid could be worried for my well-being. "By Sithis, this ends now! Back away, fool! Whatever you've been planning is over!" She yells at Cicero before turning her attention to me, "Are you all right? I heard a commotion. Who was Cicero talking to? Where's the accomplice? Reveal yourself, traitor!" She glances around the room and I have to stifle a laugh. This is serious.

"I spoke only to the Night Mother!" Cicero interjects, "I spoke to the Night Mother, but she didn't speak to me. Oh no. She spoke only to her! To the Listener!"

Astrid's brow furrows, "What? The Listener? What are you going on about? What is this lunacy?"

"It's true, it's true! The Night Mother has spoken! The silence has been broken! The Listener has been chosen!" Cicero's previously furious demeanor has been replaced by enthusiasm.

I can't begin to comprehend how long the Dark Brotherhood has been waiting for a Listener. How long has the Family been in silence?

Astrid walks past Cicero to approach me. I am aware that I am still standing in front of the Night Mother's open coffin, and I'm sure it's quite the sight as she looks me up and down, examining me for signs of injury. "When I heard Cicero screaming, I knew you'd been discovered. I feared the worst. Are you all right?"

Physically, I am completely fine. But everything happened so fast. I'm trapped inside a coffin with a dead body, eavesdropping on a lunatic, and suddenly I am the Listener. I'm not sure how to answer her question, but I feel my cheeks heating up from the very welcome attention, which is probably the only color in my face.

"You look like you've seen a ghost. Please tell me you haven't. Cicero said he spoke to the Night Mother… but she spoke to you?" She sounds like that's the last thing she wanted to hear.

I almost think a run-in with a ghost would've been preferable to sharing a coffin with a corpse. "It's true. The Night Mother spoke to me. She said I was "the one.""

"What? So Cicero wasn't talking to anyone else. Just… the Night Mother's body?" She sounds as disgusted as I feel and as confused as I probably look. "And the Night Mother, who, according to everything we know, will only speak to the person chosen as Listener… just spoke. Right now… to you?"

"Yes." This must be difficult for her. She runs the Sanctuary for Sithis knows how long and suddenly the newcomer is the Listener.

"By Sithis. And… what did she say?"

"I must speak to someone named Amound Motierre, in Volunruud," I explain as it sinks in that the Night Mother herself gave me this task… not Astrid. I want to hear the order from her. I need her permission.

"Amound Motierre? I have no idea who that is." Neither do I. "But Volunruud… that I have heard of. And I know where it is."

"So I should go to Volunruud? I should talk to this man?"

"No. No! Listen, I don't know what's going on here, but you take your orders from me. Are we clear on that?" I nod and she continues her instruction. "The Night Mother may have spoken to you, but I am still the leader of this Family. I will not have my authority so easily dismissed. I… I need time to think about this. Go see Nazir – do some work for him. I'll find you when I'm ready to discuss the matter further." I nod once again and she steps away, eager for space.

I take a long, slow breath while she exits, trying to understand what my new job entails. I have no idea what I'm doing.

When I finally gather myself and walk past Cicero, he is singing "You are the Listener! You are the Listener! I have served mother well, I have!" I don't disagree with him, in fact I say nothing as I walk past him to find Nazir in the dining room where he always is.

"So many contracts, so little time…" He mutters under his breath.

"Hey, Nazir, Astrid wanted me to see you about some work." It was obvious that I had interrupted whatever thought process he had, but he took it in stride.

"I don't like mimes, minstrels, thespians, acrobats, jugglers, troubadours, or tumblers. Flutists give me a headache. I particularly hate jesters. As a rule, I'm also not crazy about the corpses of old women." Me neither, I add silently, but it's too soon for me to start making jokes about the situation. "For the Night Mother, I'll make an exception. But Astrid is the only mistress I serve."

Unfortunately, I am not sure if I have the luxury of choosing whom I serve. I am now caught between the Night Mother and my mistress. I didn't want to think about it now. "Astrid wanted me to see you about some more work."

"Well then, your timing couldn't be better. As it turns out, I've got two new contracts. One rather easy assignment, and another that should prove quite a challenge."

A challenge was the perfect thing to keep my mind off of my mistress quarrel.

He hands me the pair of papers, and explains each in turn. "Your first target is an Orc bard named Lurbuk. The other is a vampire by the name of Hern. Happy hunting."

Lurbuk is, by all accounts, the worst bard in all of Skyrim. And I didn't know it was possible to be worse than Mikael. Apparently so many people sought his death that Astrid had to hold a lottery to determine the client. Herm has successfully blended into human society for years, and is never far from his female companion, Hert, who is also a vampire. I will probably have to contend with both, but this wouldn't be my first fight against a vampire, however I appreciated Nazir's warnings.


	4. Tenet 3 Broken

**TENET 3 BROKEN**

 _Tenet 3: Never disobey or refuse to carry out an order from a Dark Brotherhood superior._

I am unsure what compelled me to check on Astrid before I left. I come up to the closed door of her bedroom and my resolve dissolves. In my head, I quickly run through all of the possibilities of how Astrid might react to the intrusion. She is irrational, paranoid, and obsessive; what's the worst she could do? I chuckle nervously under my breath as I rap a few times at the wood. I say nothing, waiting for an order. Like go away. Don't you have a contract to complete?

"Enter," Astrid's alluring voice sang out.

I freeze momentarily, but reason that it is too late to back out and push the door open. Astrid is sitting in the chair next to the fireplace. She doesn't turn to me until after I close the door behind me. When she does, I see her brow is still furrowed. I worry that her face is permanently scrunched up like that. She probably isn't happy to see me. I am the Listener. And the source of her problems.

"What is it? Don't you have a contract?" She turns away from me, but in the flickering light of the dying fire, I can still see her furrowed face smirk a bit. I decide that instead of talking about contracts, or Cicero or me, I would ask about her. I know so little about my mistress.

"Tell me about yourself." I didn't care that now may not be the time. She'd answer if she wanted or tell me to leave. I will obey.

She hesitates but for a moment before sighing. "This Sanctuary has been my entire life since I was a young woman. That's when I first discovered my, shall we call it "aptitude," for elimination."

I am delightfully surprised that she is willing to talk to me about something other than work for once. She waits for me to move to the other chair in front of the fire.

"I had an uncle, you see. He made certain… unwanted advances. So I killed him. And liked it. Then I killed again. And liked it even more. And so on. I was recruited by the Dark Brotherhood and have been here ever since."

I smile. This Family truly has been her sole family for a long time.

"I met my husband Arnbjorn, rose to leadership. And now here we are." She gives me a toothy grin, the fire casting shadows around her face and reflections dance in her eyes.

I am caught between the aesthetic of the woman and the irritation of the reminder that she has a husband. I can't bear to look at the alluring woman so I turn to the fire. Out of the corner of my eye, I see her do the same. I take the following prolonged silence as a cue to leave. I have two contracts that are in dire need of my immediate attention.

How would Astrid react to me becoming a vampire, I wonder. I took more hits from Hern and his bitch than I care to admit. And I have heard that each hit has a ten-percent chance of infection. After this fight, I do not like those odds. Mostly to ease my mind, I down a Cure Disease potion to eliminate any chance that I contracted Sanguinare Vampiris. Babette would be content to have another of her kind in the Family, however the deficits of the disease seem too impractical for my tastes.

As soon as I walk down the steps into the Sanctuary, Astrid stops me, "We need to talk."

Business or personal, I wonder. Hoping for the latter. But perhaps she wants to talk about the Night Mother's quest.

She doesn't wait for my reply, "Look. Something is happening here. I'm not sure entirely what that something is, but… Well, we need to find out. If the Night Mother really did give you an order to talk to a contact, we'd be mad to ignore it. And I think we'd both agree, Cicero's brought quite enough madness to this Sanctuary."

I crack a smile for she isn't wrong.

"So go. Go to Volunruud. It's a crypt, pretty far to the northeast. Talk to this Amaund Motierre. And let's see where all this leads," she hums.

I nod, grateful to ease my curiosity of the Night Mother's contact. What kind of person spends his time in a crypt? I leave for the crypt as soon as I check-in with Nazir to get some praise and gold.

My dislike of corpses does not exclude draugr, but luckily I can stomach them enough to slice them down with dual silver swords. Skeletons, on the other hand, aren't so bad. I'd take a heard of skeletons over draugr any night. I take a left and open a door to find a man dressed in nice clothes and what appears to be his bodyguard. And here I was half-expecting Motierre to be dead by the time I got here.

"By the almighty Divines," the man dressed in nice clothes exclaims as I enter the room, "You've come. You've actually come. This dreadful Black Sacrament thing… it worked."

Previously, the Dark Brotherhood relied on rumors and few trusted sources to find out who was in need of our services. I briefly consider how long these people have waited before one of us would come along to solve their problems. Those days are over now, as I can get information straight from the Void. "The Night Mother heard your pleas, Motierre."

"Yes, um… So it would seem. Well, I won't waste your time. I would like to arrange a contract. Several, actually."

Several? I am intrigued.

"I daresay, the work I'm offering has more significance than anything your organization has experiences in, well, centuries."

My intrigue grows as he continues to talk, but he is wasting my time regardless, "Go on."

"As I said, I want you to kill several people. You'll find the targets, as well as their manners of elimination, quite varied. I'm sure someone of your disposition will probably even find it enjoyable. The real reason I'm speaking with a cutthroat in the bowels of this detestable crypt. For I seek the assassination of… the Emperor."

I'm sure the flash of emotion that shows on my face was quite intense before I quickly regained my composure. I kill bards and miners, vampires, bandits and mercenaries, but no one with quite so much power. "You want us to kill… the Emperor of Tamriel?" Just making sure he's not talking about some other Emperor. Perhaps one of crime lord persuasion.

"That is correct. What I ask is no small thing, of course. But you represent the Dark Brotherhood. This is… what you do? No?"

Yes. But…

"You must understand. So much has led to this day. So much planning, and maneuvering. Now, it's as if the very stars have finally aligned. But I digress. Here, take these. They need to be delivered to your, um… superior." He snaps his fingers at the bodyguard, "Rexus. The items."

Rexus is dressed in an Imperial soldier uniform. He appears to be quite irritated by Motierre's action. He has my sympathy for having to serve such an ass. "Here," he hands over a sealed letter and a jeweled amulet.

"The sealed letter will explain everything that needs to be done. The amulet is quite valuable – you can use it to pay for any and all expenses," Motierre explains.

I say nothing as I take my leave. I have no idea if Astrid is going to be thrilled… or furious.

"You're back. Good." Astrid is hovering over the map of Skyrim once more. The relief in the voice is noticeable, but she shakes it off. "All right, so? Did you meet this Motierre? What did he want?"

There is no sugarcoating it. I cannot be afraid of her reaction. "Motierre wants us… to kill the Emperor."

She scoffs, "you're joking."

I wish I was. I show her the jeweled amulet and Motierre's sealed letter. She turns to sit on the edge of the table and takes the items from me.

"What's this?" She asks as she examines them in her hands.

"The letter explains it all. The amulet is for expenses." I hadn't read the letter, but I take Motierre's word for it. Now that he knows we exist in Skyrim, there is no way he would stick out his neck by taunting us.

Her eyebrows raised, "By Sithis, you're not joking." I would've thought she had a better idea of my sense of humor by now. She takes the dagger out of the table to slice the seal open and began skimming over the letter. "To kill the Emperor of Tamriel… The Dark Brotherhood hasn't done such a thing since the assassination of Pelagius. As a matter of fact, no one has dared assassinate an Emperor of Tamriel since the murder of Uriel Septim, and that was two hundred years ago…"

"Surely the Night Mother wouldn't misdirect us…" Joking about assassinating the Emperor surely wasn't my kind of humor, let alone Mother's.

"No, she certainly wouldn't. And… for whatever reason, she chose to relay Motierre's information to you." What's that? Jealousy? Pride? Contemplation? "I don't know exactly what's going on here, if you're the Listener, or this is some fluke, or what. But what we now have before us… You're damn right we'll accept it. If we pull this off, the Dark Brotherhood will know a fear and respect we haven't seen in centuries. You think I'd abandon an opportunity to lead my Family to glory?"

I beam with a certain sense of pride. Of course she wouldn't be furious with this offer, I determine. This is perhaps the best thing that could happen for our Family and she knows it. Her smile falls and mine falls along with it.

"But this is all so much to take in. I need some time to read the letter, and figure out where we go from here. And this amulet," she mulls over it in her palm.

I find the contemplating look in her eye supremely attractive. But I still cannot read her mind, much to my dismay. "What are you thinking?"

"I'm thinking we need that amulet appraised. I want to know where it came from, how much it's worth, and if we can actually get away with selling it."

I know where to go before she says anything… Delvin Mallory. He's a fence, a private operator, who works out of the Ratway in Riften. I've had a few run-ins with the man. I've had my fair share of jobs with the Thieves Guild. I trust him, and obviously Astrid places some rare trust in him as well.

"Leave me the letter. Bring Mallory the amulet. Find out everything you can, and sell it if he's willing. He'll offer a letter of credit – that's fine. Delvin Mallory and the Dark Brotherhood have… history. He can be trusted."

I briefly wonder if it's the Family who has history with Mallory or Astrid herself. I shake away any displeasing thought of the bald thief and the beautiful assassin writhing around. It's an image I would never come to appreciate. I nod, not willing to question the nature of their relationship. As I take the necklace from her hand, my fingers brush against her. I feel the start of a feverish blush arise in my face, so I turn quickly and walk away, hoping to Sithis that Astrid had not noticed.


	5. A Bed to Be Made

**A BED TO BE MADE**

As soon as I walk over to the secret entrance to the Cistern of the Ratway, I have to fight off the nostalgia. It has been a while. A long while. I push the diamond-shaped button on the coffin and the stairway appears. I take a last breath of fresh air before climbing down into the sewers. I try to ignore the various looks I am getting from the members. Curious, questioning looks to angry, irritated looks. Like I said, it's been a long time. I push through and follow my memory to lead me to the door to The Ragged Flagon.

I find Delvin sitting at his usual table, eating his usual meal, drinking his usual drink and it's suddenly like I was never gone. When I take the seat across from him, he's not surprised to see me.

"Somethin' ya need? Anything for the guild."

A twinge of guilt rips at my heart strings. The Guild was kind to me when no one else would even look in my direction. But I'm here for the Family. "Actually, I'm here on Dark Brotherhood business."

Now he's rather surprised, but he takes this new information in stride, "Oh. Oh I see. Well, you're making friends all over, ain't ya?" He clears his throat and leans forward a bit, "So, uh… how is Astrid doin' these days? Tell her to stop by some time. We can have a drink. Catch up."

I am convinced that I threw up a bit in my mouth, but I try to play it off like it didn't bother me.

"Ah, but business! Of course. What kinda business?"

I take the amulet out of my pocket and place it gently on the table between us, "What can you tell me about this?"

He leans forward some more to take a closer look, "Let's see…" He touches one of the jewels with his fingertips, recognizing it almost immediately, "Where oh where did you get this? Don't answer – I don't want to know." No, no you really don't want to know… "This is an amulet of the Emperor's Elder Council. Specially crafted for each member. Worth a small fortune. Ain't somethin' you'd give up lightly." He sits back in his chair again, hand falling into his lap once more. "Look, it ain't my business to tell the Dark Brotherhood its business, but if you killed a member of the Elder Council, you'd better believe –"

He's right, it's none of his business. "Will you buy it?" I interrupted.

"Buy it? This? An Elder Council amulet?" His lips part into a fully-toothed grin, "oh yes. Oh yes, indeed. Wait just one moment..." He scribbles something onto a nearby piece of parchment and hands it over to me. "Here. It's a letter of credit. Usable, by Astrid only, for any service or item I can provide. As per our standard arrangement. You bring that back to your lovely mistress. With my regards."

It's just as Astrid said, but I wish to continue living in ignorance of what their "standard arrangement" entails. I grow increasingly possessive of my "lovely mistress" and decide that it is best if I leave before I start a brawl that commences a war between the Brotherhood and the Guild. I push the letter into my pocket and leave the amulet on the table, where Mallory is looking at it hungrily. Leave now, I keep telling myself, trying to quicken my pace. Since I don the Brotherhood's armor instead of the Guild's armor, I would not look forward to the conversations it would bring with the other members. Once outside, I take a quick peak at the letter… fifteen thousand septims? That's amazing! "Always yours, Delvin Mallory." I threw up in my mouth again.

"Good, you're back," Astrid smiles at my return, probably more interested in the loot that the amulet brought us rather than my presence. "Well, what did Mallory have to say? Is the amulet authentic?"

"Yes, and specially made for members of the Elder Council."

"The Elder Council…" Something seems to click with this new bit of information, "Oh, now that explains quite a bit. Motierre, you naughty, naughty boy. Hiring the Dark Brotherhood to help you rise beyond your station. Delicious." The tone of her voice brought a slight shiver down my spine and I do my best to hide it. "Was Mallory willing to buy the amulet?"

"He was," I pull the piece of parchment out of my pocket and hand it to her, "Here's a letter of credit."

"Splendid. Then we're ready to begin. Or, more specifically, you're ready to begin. After all, you're the one the Night Mother spoke to. Now then. I hope you have something nice to wear. Because you're going to a wedding."

"A wedding?" I've never been to a wedding in my life. I wonder if there will be cake and refreshments. I don't think I have anything nice to wear, I hope my armor will suffice. But since it is in Solitude, I could always stop by the Radiant Raiment for some finer clothes.

"Well, more like the public reception. It should be a lovely affair. You'll mingle with the guests, eat some cake… stab the bride." Seeing my surprise, she elaborates, "Oh yes. You've got to kill the bride. At her wedding. And they say romance is dead."

It's a bit distasteful, but at least the woman will die happy before submitting herself to a lifetime of servitude to some unworthy man. "Who is the target?"

"The target's name is Vittoria Vici. She oversees the East Empire Company's business holdings in Solitude. The wedding is being held in that city, at the Temple of the Divines. Her death will cause an uproar, which is exactly what we want. Remember, we want people to notice. Kill Vici while she's addressing her guests, as is the custom, and I can promise a bonus. Now go. And give the bride a special kiss, from me."

I'd take a kiss from my mistress any night. Wait… what? No, no, that's a later problem. I ignore the thought I just had, leaving it alone for now. I've heard of Vici and of the wedding. I …intercepted a gift package from a pair of rich noble folk who sassed me. "Can you provide any more details on the contract?"

"This is a public kill. How you do it is entirely up to you. Arrow to the throat? Knife to the belly? Your choice, so long as it's loud and messy. Because of the current political climate, people are going to assume the murder is related to the bad blood between the Legion and Stormcloaks. In any event, when Vici dies, it's going to be complete pandemonium. Best have your escape route planned out in advance."

Her suggestions are noted. I know Solitude well. However, a public kill is rather different. My kills usually happen under the veil of night, behind closed doors, quiet, careful, and discrete. It will be a refreshing change, I think. I need to find a way around a bounty being placed on my head.

I arrive in Solitude the night before the wedding reception, because although once upon a time, I spent a lot of time there as an Imperial soldier, I didn't spend much time at the Temple of Divines. The reception area was already set up, many chairs, a pair of thrones, it would be beautiful in the daytime. With the help of the shadows, I map out the building, the scaffolding, the walkways, the walls, until I have everything memorized. I take note of a loose gargoyle above where the bride will address the crowd. Now not only do I have a plan, but also a back-up plan.

The reception is lively. Under any other circumstance, I would have enjoyed coming as a member of the Legion. I take my planned path to the top of the wall to the loose gargoyle and crouch down behind it. I wait patiently for the bride to address her guests, listening to the bards' songs and flutes and drums. I think again that I would've enjoyed this service as a guest. I contemplate if I would one day have a wedding reception as lovely and lively as this one and wonder how Astrid felt at her own wedding to Arnbjorn. I push the uncomfortable thought from my mind and breathe slowly and deeply, easing my pre-kill gitters. I also take a moment to pray to Sithis for this woman's soul.

"Honored guests. I just wanted to take this time to thank you all for being here. To thank you for sharing this wonderfully happy day with myself, and my new husband."

I push the loose gargoyle just enough to send it tumbling. The last voice I hear is her husband's yelling her name in angst. Much to my inclination, Astrid had sent Veezara to make sure I got out alive. And thanks to his distractions, I did. He gave me enough time to get as far away from the scene as possible and I don't stop until I am at the Black Door of the Sanctuary.

Upon my arrival back into the Sanctuary, Astrid rejoiced in my return with laughter. "The news is everywhere! Vittoria Vici, the Emperor's cousin, butchered at her own wedding! Well done! Let's see his eminence try to ignore this." She grasps at my elbows, dangerously close.

Her laughter and joy is contagious, and I find myself smiling along with her. "Yes, the blushing bride now serves Sithis in the Void." I ignore my own blush that threatens my composure. I swallow hard, my throat suddenly drier than the Alik'r Desert.

"With Vici's murder, you've started us down a path the Dark Brotherhood hasn't traveled in centuries. That assassination of an Emperor. And now, your reward." Her eyes bounce back and forth between my eyes while she talks before they dip down and focus on my lips.

I froze as her face inches closer and I held my breath as her eyes closed. I closed my own as her lips brush softly against my own. I feel as though I am paralyzed as she leads me by my wrist into her bedroom. She closes the door behind us and pushes me against it, pinning me there with her lips on mine and my wrists held above my head. After kissing me aggressively for a long time, but not long enough, she guides me by the wrists to her bed and pushes me down onto it. She climbs onto my lap and straddles my thighs, biting and sucking roughly at the soft skin of my neck and above my collar bone. The act makes me moan in pleasurable pain and my hands fight against her hold, but she does not release me.

She stops abruptly and removes her teeth from my neck. "Strip," she orders breathlessly. She dismounts my lap and starts to remove her own armor. Before I can ask any questions, she growls her order again, "Strip. Now."

I awoke startled, I threw out my arm to feel coldness next to me on the bed. I look around at the dying fire to the fur blankets on top of me to the closed door. Astrid was gone, as I feared. But also as I had come to expect. I noticed there was a spellbook on the side table with a note scribbled on spare parchment, along with a large pouch of coins. The note was in Astrid's hand and read: "For you. A unique spell to summon a legend of the Dark Brotherhood. His soul serves us now in death, as his body once did in life. And of course, a bonus, for killing Vici while she addressed her guests, as instructed. Spend it as you will."

As I dressed quickly back into my armor, I noticed a few marks and bruises and hoped that there were none that wouldn't be covered by my leather. I do not need any prying eyes or intrusive questions. Being both the newest member and the Listener, I am already a popular topic of gossip in the Sanctuary; they do not need another thing to talk about.

I leave Astrid's room to see her at her usual place above the map. It was business as usual. Like last night never happened. Maybe it didn't. I am still unsure. But the bruises beg to differ.

She sees me and smiles wickedly, knowingly. "Now then," back to the business at hand. "Time to proceed to the next stage of the plan. Go and speak with Gabriella. She's been helping me arrange your next contract. This Emperor business, well… it does involve everyone."

Unlike last night, I added silently, but I nod my acknowledgement. I catch her smirk and out of the corner of my eye, I notice that her eyes follow me as I leave. I feel as though I've been used. I just don't understand why.


	6. Tenet 4 Broken

**TENET 4 BROKEN**

 _Tenet 4: Never steal the possessions of a Dark Brother or Dark Sister._

I quickly find Gabriella and she explains to me the nature of this next contract.

"With the Emperor's arrival in Skyrim now a certainty, his security service, the Pentius Oculatus, will need to begin its preparations immediately. Security is being handled by a Commander Maro. Astrid and I have devised a plan to break the man, and in doing so, cripple the Emperor's protection. You are to slay the commander's son, Gaius Maro, and once he is dead, plant false evidence on his body implicating him in a plot to kill the Emperor."

Wow, that's actually brilliant. The Commander will be distracted by grief, and the security team will fall under a false belief that the threat had been taken care of before it became a problem. "I understand. Gaius Maro will die."

She points me in the direction of Dragon Bridge, where the Penitus Oculatus outpost is located. He is supposed to leave from there and inspect the security of each city of Skyrim. I'm expected to follow Gaius and waylay him in one of the cities, and send his poor soul to Sithis. I mustn't forget to place the fake evidence on his body, the incriminating letter that she hands me. It's that simple.

"Oh, and one final thing…"

I am concerned that she knows that Astrid and I had done last night, but I play it off like I'm not guilty of committing adultery. "Yes?" I trust that my armor has covered up all the evidence.

"To earn your bonus, do not kill Gaius Maro in Dragon Bridge, or on the road. Kill him in one of the other major cities he'll be visiting. There, the body will be discovered quickly, as will the letter implicating Gaius Maro in the plot to assassinate the Emperor. Do that, and Astrid has authorized me to grant you a rather unique bonus. It is a special token, to be given to Olava the Feeble, in Whiterun."

I have heard of Olava the Feeble. She's a fortune teller, one who has refused to give me a reading to "reveal my destiny" since I have not had a token. I'm curious to see what the old woman has to say. I agree and rush off to catch Gaius before he leaves Dragon Bridge.

While in Dragon Bridge, I find a parchment with Maro's inspection schedule on it. I steal the item, figuring that it would come in handy. After overhearing an almost tear-jerking goodbye between Gaius and his woman, Faida, I recognize her as the local innkeeper, I follow the unsuspecting man all the way to Whiterun, taking notes on his schedule parchment in case I need to make another attempt on his life in another city. I stalk the man while in Whiterun until he enters one of my favorite drinking holes, The Bannered Mare. The inn is always bustling, especially in the evening. It seems to be perfect place to kill the man. I order my usual from Hulda. She's seen me in a few bar fights here at her inn, and though they've not ended in death before, I doubt she would question it if it appeared to be self-defense. I take a small sip of my mead while I look around and plan my attack. No one would be able to see me from the upper level, I could kill the man with a single arrow. Quick and quiet. Though my path would be blocked and surely someone would be able to see if I planted the letter on the body. I could always provoke him into attacking me first. That way, I could claim self-defense, and be quick enough to plant the letter without anyone noticing. Perfect. I take a larger swig of my mead before I approach him.

"Keep back, citizen. I have important business I must attend to."

I roll my eyes. Please, you're in a tavern. Granted he hadn't had a lick of drink. I lower my voice so that only he can hear me over the bard, "After I kill you, I'm going to kill the Emperor." Not just a lie meant only to provoke him, but also a confession.

His face scrunches with disgust, "What? Filthy assassin! We'll see who lies dead!" He pulls out his Imperial sword and a few men immediately rush to my aid, assuming that I am a damsel in distress. Not that I minded, it helped me establish my cover of self-defense, though it was I who dealt the final blow.

You. You're the one who lies dead… Filthy? I bathe regularly, thank you very much. I slip the incriminating letter under his belt and back away, pretending to be disgusted by the man's actions and by his dead body. I slip out of the inn while everyone returns to their drinks.

Gabriella meets me at the entryway of the Sanctuary, and reveals she had been anxiously awaiting my return.

"Gaius Maro is dead." I am quite proud of this kill. Public, with no bounty, under the ruse of self-defense. It was a good kill.

"Yes, I know. As does Astrid. You have done well, and have earned both your reward, and a bonus, as I may have mentioned." She hands me gold and a gem before looking rather grim, "But you should know that we have a more pressing matter to deal with. It's… Cicero. There's been an incident. You should proceed into the Sanctuary. I'll let Astrid explain."

My breath caught in my throat. Astrid. I pray to Sithis that Astrid has not been harmed. Gabriella sits down on a nearby bench and I run past her to find Astrid. I find her, along with the others, surrounding a wounded Veezara.

"Good, you're here. You'll want to hear this," Astrid acknowledges me briefly.

Babette tells Veezara not to move, everything's going to be all right. Veezara thanks her, stating that the jester's cut feels as bad as it looks. And it looks pretty bad. I was wrong about Cicero. His madness overweighed his rationale to an extent that I could not have foreseen. Poor Veezara.

"Damn it, this never should have happened! We knew better. We knew better, and still we let our guards down!" Astrid growls in fury before turning to me, "Maro is dead, I know. But we've got bigger problems right now!"

I nodded to Veezara, "Gabriella mentioned something about Cicero…"

"The fool went absolutely berserk! He wounded Veezara, tried to kill me, and then he fled. I knew that lunatic couldn't be trusted."

"It's true, I'm afraid. Cicero was a little whirlwind, slashing this way and that. It would have been funny, if he weren't trying to murder us all," Festus demonstrates with his hands. Probably would've been funny, but no one is laughing.

"Don't forget the ranting and raving. About the Night Mother, how she was the true leader of the Dark Brotherhood, and Astrid was just a "pretender,"" Nazir adds.

Astrid impatiently taps her foot. "Look, we've got to deal with this situation. You've got to deal with this situation."

Me? Why it is my job? When did I take responsibility for the undeniable fool, the Keeper? I suppose I took that on as soon as I became the Mother's Listener. Regardless of what happened night's before, I still take my orders from Astrid. "What do you want me to do?"

"I want you to find that miserable little fool and end his life! But first…" Her face falls, her eyes sad and her tone concerned, "find my husband. Make sure he's all right."

I felt as if I was the one laying broken and bleeding on the ground. I would've preferred it to the heartache.

She took my silence as a need to elaborate. "After the attack, Arnbjorn flew into a rage. When Cicero left… Arnbjorn went after him. They disappeared into the wild. Search Cicero's room. Maybe there's something in there that sheds some light on where he might have gone. Let me know the minute you find something. I've got to see to Veezara, and calm everyone down."

I see the mental checklist that Astrid is going over in her head. Delegate finding out where Cicero had gone and finding Arnbjorn to me so that she can focus on the rest of the Family.

"Bested by a fool," Veezara laughs painfully, "Who's the fool now, hmm?" He is quickly shushed by Babette who told him that he was very brave.

Astrid addresses Veezara, "She's right. I'll be forever in your debt, dearest brother. Now be quiet. Just… just rest."

I look back to Astrid, "What could have set Cicero off?" Why now?

Astrid breaths noisily out of her nose before explaining, "If I'm being honest, I haven't exactly been discreet lately in expressing my frustration with this whole situation. Obeying the Night Mother. You being the Listener. It's ridiculous. No offense." I snort but don't object further. "Cicero may have overheard me talking to one of the others about the Night Mother. It's possible I was... not entirely respectful."

Part of me doesn't blame the fool, though I don't approve of his methods. "Is there any way to work things out?"

"Look, the Dark Brotherhood is a family. This Sanctuary is a family. And we've always welcomed those… shunned by society. Werewolves, wizards, eternal ten year-old vampires… you… what does it matter? In truth, I've rarely met a lunatic I haven't liked. Cicero's problem isn't his madness. It's an adherence to an ancient, outmoded way of life. The Night Mother's way… simply are not our ways. He just couldn't accept that. And now he'll have to pay the price."

Oops. Looks like I struck a nerve with that question, but I nod my approval before turning away to head to Cicero's room. I glance around, finding many journals. I take them all to show to Astrid, but the one on his side table proved most helpful. I brought the evidence back to Astrid as ordered.

"Have you found something?" She asks, her brows lifted.

"Yes, Cicero's journal." I move to hand her the leather bound pages, open to a specific page, but she doesn't take it.

"Good, good. Does it say where he may be headed?" Fine, don't read the journal I worked diligently to find.

"Yes, an abandoned Sanctuary in Dawnstar. I have the passphrase." I smirk inwardly to myself. I know something about the Dark Brotherhood that Astrid does not. I know it's petty, but I take pride in this fact.

"The Dawnstar Sanctuary? Whatever for?" I shrug. Like the page said, it's abandoned. "Never mind, it doesn't matter. You need to leave. Now. Every moment counts, so I want you to take my horse. His name is Shadowmere. You'll find him outside, by the pool. Let's just say he's... one of us. You'll find him outside, by the pool. He'll speed your passage to Dawnstar. Find Arnbjorn. Make sure my husband's all right. And then, send that jester's twisted little soul to the Void, in as many pieces as possible."

I nod my acknowledgement, though I do not agree that the poor fool needed to die. I walk back through the Sanctuary unsure of what I am going to do.

I turn back to make sure that Astrid has thought this through but she only yells, "What are you waiting for? My husband is out there somewhere with that lunatic. Find them! Do as you've been told!"

I turn my little ass right back around. Talking to Astrid wouldn't help; she has clearly not thought this through. Do I kill the Night Mother's Keeper? Do I disobey a direct order from my mistress? I have to weigh my choices here. I only have from Falkreath to Dawnstar to figure it out. What did she say about a horse? I've never seen a horse waiting outside the Sanctuary before. The pool Astrid was talking about was black as the night and bubbling from an unknown power. I am taken aback when the bubbling, black liquid begins to form into a huge figure above the surface. Red eyes form out of the goo and the goo falls away to reveal a large beast of a horse.

"Shadowmere?"

He rears back into a magnificent pose before turning his head to me as if to say "What are you waiting for? Get on."

"All right," I say to him as I swing myself onto the black leather saddle, "Let's go." Time to chase down the lunatic… and Cicero.


	7. A Life to Be Saved

**A LIFE TO BE SAVED**

I arrive at Dawnstar much quicker by riding Shadowmere than I would have by taking a carriage. We follow the path to the bay, then follow the water's edge to find a bloody body, barefoot and dressed in Dark Brotherhood armor. I jump from the saddle to find that it is in fact Arnbjorn and… thank Sithis! He is still breathing!

"Should have figured Astrid would send you."

Not happy to see me? Rude. "You're hurt," I observe.

"What gave it away?"

Don't sass me, I can still let you die. But he laughs, and I realize he is truly glad that I am here. Despite his rough demeanor, he has a soft spot for everyone in the Family.

"Yeah, got to admit that little jester is good with that butter knife. But don't worry, I gave as good as I got."

"Where's Cicero now?"

He nods his head towards a Black Door more than a few feet away, "in there! Through the door. Some old Sanctuary, by the looks of it. I would've followed him, but I don't know the phrase."

Luckily for all of us, except obviously Cicero, I know the passphrase. "I know the phrase. I'll go get Cicero – you go home." Astrid will want to know that you're alive… Don't fight me on this, you will lose with that battered body of yours.

"All right, you convinced me. Doubt I'd be much good to you, anyway. The little fop cut me pretty deep."

But not as deep as Astrid's concern for the well-being of her husband… even after spending a glorious night with me. I wonder if Arnbjorn knows about the affair, but I will not be the one to tell him.

"But I slashed him good. Pretty sure I severed an artery. Don't know what you're going to find in there… but you can probably just follow the blood."

I smile at him, despite our differences I am glad to see him alive. I pull out a healing potion from my pack and hand it to him. He thanks me and I walk around his body to approach the Door.

"What is life's greatest illusion?" It asks in the same dark, raspy tone as our own Sanctuary door.

I briefly consider the illusions I have observed… being happily married… having an easy life… life always going as planned… a few magician's tricks or illusion spells… but the greatest illusion… "Innocence, my Brother."

"Welcome home."

If this is home, I would like to leave. This Sanctuary is not quite as welcoming as the one in Falkreath, being abandoned and that.

"Listener! Is that you?" It's Cicero's voice. And it sounds very, very far away. "Oh, I knew you'd come. Send the best to defeat the best. Astrid knew her stupid wolf couldn't slay sly Cicero."

I continue into the Sanctuary, following the echoing sound of his voice. I soon come across a ghost. I'm simply glad that it isn't a draugr. I quickly summon my spectral assassin, Lucien Lachance, in a flash of pale violet light. I do not have to lift a finger to kill the ghost.

As I continue on, Cicero continue to call out. "Oh, but this isn't at all what Mother would want. You kill the Keeper or I kill the Listener? Now that's madness."

"I will kill this jester if you so desire, but there is a disturbance in the Void. Our Dread Father does not wish this." I hear Lucien say from behind me.

I know he is able to communicate with Father and I know he would not mislead me. I take his words to heart as we continue. When we come to a bridge, Lucien stops me. I don't have time to question him when spikes shoot across the room with a zing and a ghost appears on the other side.

"Ouch! Pointy pointy! My home is well defended. I always have been a stickler for details. Get it? "Stick-ler."" His sickening maniacal laughter echoed in the stone halls. "Oh, I slay me!"

Lucien is able to pass through the spikes with no problem and take down the ghost. I try to follow his exact path, but I see my life flash before my eyes as I feel a spike wiz past me, almost scraping my stomach. I make it quickly over to the other side before the spikes have another shot at me. There are more ghosts at the bottom of the staircase, but I notice the purplish liquid that pools on the ground. I quickly summon a fireball and aim it at the liquid. It does as planned, a lantern falls from the ceiling, it explodes and burns the ghosts alive… well… as alive a ghost can be.

"You're... still alive." Surely he heard the explosion. "Cicero respects the Listener's abilities, of course, but could you at least slow down a bit? I'm not what I used to be." He sighs, and I wonder what state he is in after his battle with the werewolf.

More ghosts appear in the room ahead, but Lucien takes them down easily. He turns to me afterward, "The Keeper is a sacred position within the Dark Brotherhood. Ask yourself – do you trust the wisdom of our Lady?"

It is a thought-provoking question, as per his intent. It is obvious that Lucien does not wish for me to kill the fool. I note my discomfort for disrespecting the wise assassin's wishes as well as Mother and Father's, but move on. There is broken glass and the color and shape reminds me of the beautiful stain glass window in our own Sanctuary. There is snowy path beyond the glass shards.

As I follow the path, my footsteps echo against the ice walls and I am sure Cicero can hear me approaching. Bear traps litter the floor of a larger clearing and I'm careful not to trigger one. I like my feet attached to by body.

"Brrr! Chilly!" He calls, as if on cue. "You'll enjoy this. Not an original part of the Sanctuary, per se. Let's call it a 'forced addition.' Forced by what? Oh, come and see!"

The path splits up ahead, and I take the right. There is a very large troll at the top of a slope and it takes both Lucien and me to take the beast down. Why don't we have a pet troll? The frost spider has nothing on a massive troll.

"All right, so Cicero attacked that harlot, Astrid! But what's a fool to do, when his mother is slandered and mocked? Surely the Listener understands!"

I do understand, but I don't agree that he took the most appropriate course of action. He should've came to me. Perhaps I could have talked him down before this happened. Perhaps I could have done more to convince Astrid to be more respectful. I follow the path until it stops at a wooden door. I open it to find a hallway blocked off with a spike trap, but luckily the pull chain is on my side. We appear to be in a Hall of the Dead of sorts. Coffins are plentiful, some empty and open on the floor, but I do not check the ones on the bunks. I've spent enough time in a coffin to last the rest of my life. I am grateful when ghosts distract me from my train of thought.

"Cicero admits, he thought the Listener would be dead by now." Heh. Sorry to disappoint. "Maybe we could just forget all this? Hmm? Let bygones be bygones? What do you say?" He knows I cannot be stopped. Even by more bear traps or another pull chain.

"If it's any comfort, I do feel slightly bad about Veezara. Stupid lizard got in my way! But please tell me that hulking sheepdog has bled to death." He is getting more and more desperate, his voice revealing his panic. I take my time walking down the dimly lit hallway, Lucien following me in silence.

When I am standing in front of the door, Cicero grimaces audibly. "And now we come to the end of our play. The grand finale."

I push the door open and almost gasp at the sight. Cicero is bleeding out by the fire pit, coiled in on himself in, what I could only imagine, to be the worse pain of his terrible life. I approach him, my weapons sheathed.

"You caught me! I surrender!" He laughs some more, coughing up a mouthful of blood. He is unable to stand, barely able to turn his head to look in my direction.

The "grand finale" is no grander than anything else in this abandoned Sanctuary. If I decided to kill the fool, then that would prove to be quite the finale. But I am silent, still contemplating whether to disobey Astrid or to follow her command. Attacking the leader of a Sanctuary would be enough to sentence the fool to death, but to kill the Night Mother's Keeper? Mother and Father would be very displeased with me.

"Oh, you prefer to listen, eh? Of course, of course! The Listener listens! A joke! A funny joke! I get it. Then listen to this – don't kill me. Let poor Cicero live! I attacked the strumpet Astrid, I did! And I'd do it again! Anything for our mother!" He is not making a very good case for himself. "Return to the pretender, tell her I'm dead! Tell her you strangled me with my own intestines!" He tries very hard to laugh. "But lie! Yes, lie! Lie, and let me live!"

He waits for a moment, but I remain silent. It is do or die time, and I need to decide. He looks away from me and accepts his fate, "Do what you will. Cicero has no fight left. In the end, Sithis will judge us both."

He is truly pitiful in this state. I could easily end his miserable life right here with but a quick flick of my sword along his neck. I take a look around the room, taking my sweet time to decide. The surfaces are covered in dry blood, torture and embalming tools are placed on the tables, and a skeleton hangs by its wrists on the wall. This is a torture room, I laugh to myself. Lucien gives me a very concerned look.

I gesture to the door, "Let's go home, Lucien."


	8. Tenet 2 Broken

**TENET 2 BROKEN**

 _Tenet 2: Never betray the Dark Brotherhood or its secrets._

"Arnbjorn is safe, and for that you have my thanks." Astrid stays at her position above the hold map but looks in my direction upon my entry. It's quite the change from the last welcome home I received from her. "But what of the fool? Is Cicero dead?"

"Yes, Cicero is dead." I lie, not as extravagantly as Cicero had advised. No intestines involved.

"Excellent. Once again, you've proven yourself a born assassin. Tell you what. Why don't you hold onto Shadowmere a while longer? He's a fine steed, and hasn't been ridden nearly as much as he should lately. And now that this Cicero mess has been mopped up, we can get back to the matter at hand, hmm?"

I nod. Shadowmere and I get along perfectly. He is very trustworthy and strong. He is truly a member of our Family. Did I deserve him as my steed? Regardless, I am eager to move on from this depressing incident. "Right. So what's my next task?"

"There's just one more target before we strike out at the Emperor. Have you by chance heard of the "Gourmet"? Read his cookbook?"

I shake my head "no" because I am not much of a cook. I'm sure I have a stolen copy of the book somewhere, though. It is quite popular.

"It's become quite a phenomenon. The Gourmet is scheduled to cook for the Emperor at a special dinner. You'll kill him, steal his Writ of Passage, and assume the role of master chef. Festus has been spearheading this part of the assassination plan. He's close to uncovering the identity of the Gourmet. You should report to him."

I nod. It shall be done. I've never been a chef before, this will prove to be an interesting assignment.

Festus mocks me for taking my sweet time dealing with Cicero, but quickly gets down to brass tax. I need to kill The Gourmet, steal his identity, but we don't even know if "he" is a "he" but it wouldn't be the first time that I killed a woman. Certainly not the last.

"Do you have any idea how I might find out?" I wouldn't even know where to start. Perhaps checking with inns that are more… off the beaten roads. Luckily, Festus isn't an incompetent fool, he has dug up a copy of the cookbook with a signature made out to a man named Virane. I need to obtain information on the Gourmet's identity and location. Then kill Virane in addition to the Gourmet, loose ends and all that.

"Next you'll have to… Are you still paying attention?" He must've seen me shift my weight to my other foot and heard my quiet sigh.

I have my target, what else do I need to know? Of course, Festus. Please do continue your tireless rant when I have people to kill. I wait with bated breath… I nod, trying to keep my eyes from rolling. This man exhausts me. He tells me not to forget to take the Gourmet's Writ of Passage so I can take his place and hide his body, if possible. The longer it takes for someone to find his body and determine his real identity, the better. I gleefully think of all the ways to hide a killing and leave with vigor to the Markarth Keep to find one Anton Virane.

I intimidate the information out of Virane, revealing that he does indeed know the Gourmet and where he is located. I thank him, and leave, only to return later that night and kill the man in his sleep. Now to find the orc named Balagog gro-Nolob at the Nightgale Inn.

I am told that he likes to go for a walk to the pond during the day. I perch in a nearby tree and wait for him to come out and look out onto the tranquil surface. I send a single arrow and the force is enough to send his body flying with a splash into the pond. Killed and hidden in one blow. I'm satisfied with that. I jump down from the tree, striding nonchalantly over to the floating body and remove my arrow from his back. I search him for the Writ and take his gold. For my trouble, I conclude.

I return to the Sanctuary, my boots still a little damp from the pond water. I push away my need to greet Astrid as soon as I arrive. She notices, but doesn't call to me.

"So, the prodigal murderer returns. And the Gourmet?" Festus greets me as I approach him at his alchemy table.

"Dead." It was a simple kill. It only took one hit.

"So I gathered. It seems a certain Orc has disappeared. Which means you not only killed the Gourmet, but disposed of the body as well." I continue to be impressed by how quickly the member of the Family get their information of my kills. "You've got the Writ of Passage too, I see. Splendid, splendid… Ah, and word has come in from Markarth that the keep's cook has met an untimely demise. In his sleep, no less. You performed your duties to the letter."

Praise? From Festus? I must be doing my job correctly to get such a reward. I am a mighty Dark Brotherhood assassin, fearless and brutal. "You would expect any less from the Listener?" It could be said that I am letting my new-found position go to my head, but I wouldn't disagree.

"Hmph," he sounds, "I was wrong about you. I see that now. Maybe we all were. Here's your payment," he hands me a large pouch of gold and… a ring? "Plus… a little something else, as well. From me. Consider it my way of apologizing. For being so damned curmudgeonly!"

The big word's meaning is lost on me, but the intent was not. He's apologizing for being a cranky old man. I nod, thanking him, and he explained that the ring is called the Nightweaver's Band, and should give my magic and sneakiness some much needed "oomph." I never want to hear him make that sound again. And now, I have to go back to see Astrid. It's time for the final stage of this long, celebrated operation.

"So it's done. You've killed the Gourmet. And now Titus Mede II is as good as dead." She sure is quite smug for someone who hasn't lifted a finger.

"So it's time? We're ready to assassinate the Emperor?" It's been quite a long road to get to this point.

"Oh yes. And I've decided you will have the honor."

I am honored, but unsurprised. Who else would she send but the Listener? I'm beginning to think that she likes sending me on these dangerous missions, if only to get me out of the Sanctuary for a while. "The Emperor will die! For Sithis and the Night Mother!"

"Yes. For Sithis… and the Night Mother. You are the Listener after all, hmmm?" She is displeased that the Night Mother has replaced herself in my line-up of superiors. I don't take kindly to being a one-night stand, you see. "So let's not waste any more time." I nod while I recover from my contentment of her displeasure. "Go now to Castle Dour in Solitude. Present the Gourmet's Writ of Passage to the officer in charge, Commander Maro. I'm sure you remember him. You'll gain unrestricted access to the kitchens, and then the Emperor. You're posing as a chef, so you'll be able to poison his meal rather easily."

"Which poison should I use?" I have many kinds of poisons. Some that I've even made myself. I think I still have a single vail of the Lotus Extract that Muiri brewed for me.

"Here, take this," she hands me a strange plant, which is wrapped in linen, "it's called jarrin root. All it takes is one taste, and the effects are quite immediate. The Emperor will be serving Sithis before he even knows he's dead. Once Mede has been killed, escape through the upper door, and across the bridge." Upper door, cross the bridge, I noted. "I've "arranged" for it to be unguarded once the alarm is sounded." I nod, maybe she has been of some use in all of this. "Now go, my friend. Go, and fulfill your destiny as Listener."

My friend? How nice. Brilliant way of telling me that it is over without admitting that anything had started.

Before I meet with the guard to get inside the castle, I change into a chef's tunic and don a chef's hat. If I'm going to pretend to be a chef, I want to at least look the part. With the Writ, I am let in, but Maro is surprised that I am the legendary Gourmet, though he really should have realized that because I am donning the chef's clothes. Ignorant bastard, so disrespectful. Who would lie about being the Gourmet? Oh that's right, I would.

The assistant chef had already started on the meal. But she too is unaware that I am the Gourmet. Why is it so unbelievable that I am a legendary cook with her own cookbook? I am perfectly aware that I am a High Elf. It shouldn't matter, the real Gourmet was an Orc for Sithis' sake! If it's because I am a woman, she of all people should be ashamed of herself.

She informs me that the Emperor has requested my signature dish: the Potage le Magnifique. That must be the brown liquid she has been stirring in that pot… she just needs to know what else to add. I really should have read the cookbook. A sweetroll sounds good. The sweetness might mask the bitterness of the jarring root. Now, I just want to mess with her… add some vampire dust for good measure to add a more… earthy texture. Nirnroot and diced horker meat sounds like a safe thing to add, nothing too strange. I cannot explain why they would have some these on hand, but they do.

This brew sounds disgusting, but the Emperor is going to be too busy dying to be critical of the taste. I give her the jarrin root, explaining that it is an herb to add to the Potage. Don't sass me, for I am the Gourmet! And I know absolutely nothing about cooking. I just do as I'm told.

"I'll carry the stew pot, and lead the way up to the dining room. I'm sure the Emperor and his guests are dying to meet you."

I allow myself to chuckle at her unintentional joke. If they aren't dying now, they will be once they taste the Potage. I overhear the guests talking uncomfortably about the travesty that was Vici's wedding and about Maro's son's failed assassination attempt.

Gianna, the sew chef, stops at the door, sweating a bit. "Here we are. Gods, I'm nervous. We'll go in in just a moment. Please, I'll serve. You just stand there and… be amazing." She looks at me in awe for a moment, and for that moment I forget that I am pretending to be someone I'm not.

"Aha!" The Emperor exclaims when we enter the room. It catches me off-guard and I miss a step, but quickly compose myself as all eyes turn to me. "Honored guests, I present to you – the Gourmet!"

Yes, yes that is me. I remind myself to stand like a famous chef would stand, not like an assassin, proud and honored to be in the presence of the Emperor.

"Ah, the Potage le Magnifique. So delicious." The man licks his lips. But I'm afraid he is going to be disappointed.

Gianna serves everyone the Potage that I will never have the pleasure of tasting, but from experience of my own cooking, I'm sure it's detestable. As everyone is focused on the brown liquid, I slick back to the wall and wait.

"My friends, as Emperor, I of course reserve the right of first taste." Something seems off, but I push the worry away. I have bigger worries. Like getting out of here before I am caught.

I do not have the luxury of time. All it takes is one taste and I decide it's time for me to quietly take my leave. I could use a head-start. I'm glad I stepped away, because not seconds after I had, I hear the Emperor choking and coughing. I take my marked escape route, ignoring the painfully loud death of the assistant chef.

I am intercepted by a pair of soldiers on the bridge. Damn it. Damn it! I thought Astrid said this way would be unguarded? I am so confused.

"That man was, by far, the most insufferable decoy the Emperor has ever employed," Maro appears behind his soldiers and my heart drops at the word "decoy." "I'm glad he's dead. Ah, but I'm even happier that you killed him.

I see an archer take position on the tower above us. By Sithis, this escape is going to hurt. But I refuse to take an arrow to the knee. I'm not ready for that just yet.

"You, an assassin for the Dark Brotherhood, have just made an attempt on the Emperor's life. Would have succeeded, had it been the real man." He clicks his tongue, "Surprised? So was I, when a member of your "Family" came to me with the plan. We worked out a deal, you see. An exchange."

A traitor? By Sithis! I will murder the bastard, right after I murder these soldiers in blind fury!

He approaches a little closer, until I can see the wisps of his cold breath. "I get you, and the Dark Brotherhood gets to continue its existence."

I am both sickened and heartbroken. I would have thought my life worth more than that. At least, some plentiful amount of gold in addition. I don't want to know what Maro planned to do with me once he had me.

"But you know what?" He continues, "I've changed my mind. How about this? I kill you, and butcher each and every one of your miserable little friends?"

He can have me, but he shouldn't dare touch my Family. He can't have anyone else, not even the traitor. The traitor should be Astrid's to deal with… and if it was Astrid… well… betrayal doesn't sit well in this Family.

"Your Sanctuary's being put to the sword right now. That's what I think of this "deal." You killed my son! All of you! And now you'll pay the price!" He motions to his guards, "Kill her. And make sure there's nothing left to bury." He disappears quickly down the staircase.

I summon my dear spectral assassin. At least he is still trustworthy. The three agents fall quickly between Lucien's skill and my anger. We run down the spiral staircase and escape Solitude via the tower and dive into the water of the bay, losing the guards in the process.

"We must return to the Sanctuary! Your Family is in dire peril!" Lucien announces when we emerge from the water on the other side of the bay.

Thank you, Lucien. I am more than bloody aware of that fact. Damn it, Astrid. What have you done?


	9. Tenet 5 Broken

**TENET 5 BROKEN**

 _Tenet 5: Never kill a Dark Brother or Dark Sister._

I run as fast as I can, as far as I can until I am met by a flustered Shadowmere. We make it back to the Sanctuary quicker by horseback than I would have by foot. When we arrive, the area surrounding the Black Door was swarming with Pentitus Oculatus Agents, but Lucien shows up before long to help me take them out quickly. Even Shadowmere helps take on the guards. What a brave horse. He could be an assassin if his kills didn't make so much noise.

They plan to burn us, I determine. There are drums and barrels of oil everywhere. I find the body of Festus nearby. He has been nailed to a tree with a dozen arrows.

"We are the messengers of death, you and I. Together, we will unleash the unholy wrath of our Dread Father, Sithis." He tries to reassure me, but his words do little to comfort me.

I can say nothing as I rush to the Black Door. Even outside, I can smell the foul scent of the oil. And inside, the stench is intolerable. There are bodies of agents here, which gives me hope that there are some survivors who are still alive and kicking… or slashing. But my hopes are lessened when I find the body of Veezara.

"The Sanctuary must be purged of its invading filth!" Lucien yells in fury.

I ignore the stinging tears in my eyes and push on. I will have the rest of my life to mourn him. And Festus, too.

I arrive in time to see Arnbjorn transform into his powerful werewolf form and fight off a few of the agents. I quickly pull out my arrows to help, but I am too late. I watch as the beast falls before me and I yell out in angst and anger. In the following room, I find the bodies of Lis, our pet frostbite spider, and Gabriella. I now cannot prevent my tears from falling. By Sithis, they will pay for this! I will send all of their souls to the Void, where I'm sure Lucien will have a joyous time torturing them for this heinous crime.

I avoid the growing flames until I find Nazir, who is locked in duel with an agent and I come to his aid. A few well-placed arrows take his assailant down. I am nothing sort of relieved that I wasn't too late to save him.

He seems very grateful to see me. "So you are alive. I was starting to wonder."

I am out of breath, my voice shakes from a combination of grief and fear and rage, "The Emperor… it was all a trap. Someone set us up." By saying this, I trust that the traitor is not Nazir, though it is suspicious that he is the only one I've found alive.

"Considering most of us are now dead, I assumed as much," he coughed some of the smoke out of his lungs. "And before you ask, no – I don't think it was you." And he coughs again, "well, maybe I did, but you saving my sorry hide just now sort of erased any doubts. So thanks."

His words strike me in the gut. To think that the others died believing that I was the traitor… I'll have time to think about this later, I need to get us to safety. "We need to get out of here!" I yell over another explosion.

"You've got that right. Only a matter of time before we're roasted alive. Come on!" He leads the way, going further and further into the Sanctuary. I am hardly able to recognize where we are headed.

That is when I hear the whispers of the Night Mother ring in my ears. Oh how I had missed her voice. I am glad to hear it at this desperate time. "Listener. I am your only salvation." That is her grand advice? "Come. Embrace me."

Embrace her? Oh no, no. No. I am not getting back into that coffin with Mother's decaying body. Once was quite enough, thank you. We take out a few more agents on the travel to the room where the iron coffin resides. I look at the coffin, contemplating for a moment what I should do as Nazir runs on ahead of me. He doesn't notice that I have stopped and I take a leap of faith by opening the hot doors of the coffin and tumbling inside. I bump up against the corpse and squeal vocally as the doors close behind me. Please let this be the last time I am to be trapped in here, I pray. I am terrified for Nazir as I hear another explosion followed by the sound of crumbling rocks all around us.

"Sleep," the Night Mother urges. I resist the smoothing voice at first, but she repeats herself. And everything goes black.

I awake to Nazir's strained voice and the sound of rocks shifting and the iron creaking. "I'm going… as fast… as I can, you stupid she-devil. I don't see you… helping…"

I let out an exasperated sigh as I hear Babette's cute little girl voice, "I'm not exactly built for manual labor. Now come on, you've almost got it."

"One more… pull…"

The pair are safe! They are alive and they're trying to get me out. I have to conceal a shriek when I recall where I am.

Nazir yells strenuously as more rocks fall away, "There."

"Can you get it open?" Babette asks, obviously about the coffin.

"I think so. Just hold on a moment."

I can feel wet tears start to stream down my cheeks. Yes, please, get me out of here. I curse the darkness for not being dark enough when the Night Mother's body glows once more.

"You must speak with Astrid. Here, in the Dark Brotherhood Sanctuary."

Here? She's here? How did she survive the burning collapse? Astrid... Hold on, I'm coming. The doors fly open and I rush to get out of the coffin. Astrid, I need to find Astrid!

Nazir reaches for me as I stumble out of the iron tomb, "Whoa, whoa, whoa. Slow down. It's all right. You've been through a lot. Maybe you should just sit down for a bit…" Nazir is alive, though charred, he seems well. And Babette is the picture of undead health!

"I'm fine," I reassure them. We've all been through a lot. "But I have to speak with Astrid! She's here in the Sanctuary."

"She's here?" Nazir is right to wonder, I was surprised myself. "By Sithis, I thought we'd lost her. Let's go!"

I nod, trying to figure out where we were. We hadn't left the Sanctuary, to be certain, but everything feels different. This isn't the home I remember it being. The path leading in deeper has been blocked by a landslide, so I turn and head the other way, back to Astrid's bedroom.

I take a moment to look at her bed. The feeling I experience can only be heartbreak. I look away before any fresh tears start to form and check for… perhaps a hidden door? Aha! I find one already open and waiting… and I don't like what I see. "Astrid?"

Astrid is there. Burned to a crisp, stretched out on the floor, surrounded by lit candles like a sacrifice, only her trusty dagger still by her side.

"Alive... You're alive... Thank Sithis..." She coughs and I grimace, the act causing me pain too.

I kneel next to her body, afraid to touch her but wanting to with what's left of my heart. I want to cry, but I try not to. It proves futile as renewed, unruly tears flow from my eyes. "Astrid…"

She shushes me. "Please," she coughs once. "There is much... I have to say. And... not much time... I'm sorry. So very sorry. The Penitus Oculatus... Maro... He said that by giving you to them, he would leave the Dark Brotherhood alone. Forever." She closes her eyes, probably unable to look at the face she had betrayed. "By Sithis, I was such a fool. All of this... it's all my fault. You are the best of us, and I nearly killed you... as I've killed everyone else... I betrayed you… and now Maro has betrayed me. Fitting…"

What do I say to her? To the once great leader of our Family? To the woman I once loved and possibly loved me in return? The one who betrayed me… betrayed us all… by sending me to die to save her own hide and to keep her position as leader without a challenger. We could've been a family. But even now, as she is burned almost beyond recognition, I pity her.

"I just wanted things... to stay the way they were. Before Cicero, before the Night Mother. Before... you. I thought I could save us. I was wrong." She opened her eyes to look at me. To really look at me. "But you're alive! So there's still a chance. A chance to start over, rebuild. That's why I did... this. Don't you see? I prayed to the Night Mother! I am the Black Sacrament."

"What are you saying?" I croak out. I can barely breathe, let alone swallow. What is left of the moisture in my body has been turned into tears.

"I'm saying you were right. The Night Mother was right. The old ways... they guided the Dark Brotherhood for centuries. I was a fool to oppose them," she coughs and I see a little bit of her life force flutter away. "And to prove my... my sincerity, I have prayed for a contract. You lead this Family now. I give you the Blade of Woe, so that you can see it through."

No. No! I know what she is going to ask and I know I can't do it. I am of utterly broken mind, body, and soul. I'm afraid that if I do as she commands one last time that I shall never recover.

"You must kill... me."

I look at her in horror. I know there is no talking Astrid out of anything once she has made up her mind. I feel Babette and Nazir's eyes on me. If not in pity, then they are wondering what I will do. In their mind, I am the leader now. They will follow my order to kill her, should I wish it. No. It cannot be anyone else. This is an official contract. I must not disobey my mistress. And I must not fail to carry out a contract. To do so is to invoke the Wrath of Sithis.

I pick up the Blade of Woe and wrap my whitening knuckles around it. I can scarcely see through my watery eyes. I bend down and place my other hand on what is left of Astrid's hair, like I once had that single blissful night. She closes her eyes and whimpers at the loving gesture. I set my forehead hesitantly against hers and close my eyes. If my salty tears dripping onto her face caused her any pain, she did not acknowledge it audibly. I recall the first moment I laid eyes on Astrid that day in the Abandoned Shack. What I remember most is her alluring voice telling me to commit a murder. I try to remember her like she was: mysterious, resilient, cunning. Beautiful. I move the dagger swiftly and say a silent prayer for my mistress's soul.

She moans in pain, or perhaps relief. "Thank you... Lilith…"


End file.
